1、鸵鸟的幸福，只是一堆沙子。
Ostrich happiness is just a pile of sand.
2、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混！
Read more than ten years of books, or kindergarten is better mix!
3、洗脸的时候发现原来我嘴巴很小，也是樱桃小口嘛。
When I wash my face, it turns out that my mouth is very small, and it is also a small mouth of cherry.
4、如果有一天姐变的很疯狂，请告诉别人，姐淑女过。
If one day, sister becomes crazy, please tell others, ladies and gentlemen too.
5、每个人出生的时候都是原创，可悲的是，很多人渐渐都成了盗版！
Everyone is born at the time of originality, sadly, a lot of people gradually become pirated!
6、牛粪终归是牛粪，上锅蒸了也不会变成香饽饽。
It is cow dung, steam will not become xiangbobo.
7、我知道你就是我今生要等的人，所以我要用我的今生来爱你！
I know that you are the person I want to wait for, so I will love you with my life!
8、曾以为我是那崖畔的一枝花，后来才知道，不过是人海一粒渣。
I thought I was a flower on the Bank of the cliff, and then I realized that it was just a piece of slag.
9、我费劲千辛万苦爬上梯子的顶端，却发现梯子搭错了墙头。
Our strenuous journey to climb the top of the ladder, but found the ladder against the wrong wall.
10、有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。
Sometimes, it's not that the other person doesn't care about you, but you look at the other side too much.
11、结婚就是给自由穿件棉衣，活动起来不方便，但会很温暖。
Marriage means wearing a cotton padded dress for free. It is not convenient, but it will be very warm.
12、每一个不想谈恋爱的人，心里都住着一个不可能的人！
Every person who doesn't want to fall in love lives in an impossible person!
13、我们的目标：向钱看，向厚赚。
Our goal: money, to make thick.
14、如果是真的，我想再多看你几眼，我怕我以后会忘了你。
If it is true, I want to see you a few more, I'm afraid I'll forget you later.
15、你等着吧，总有一天我会让你成为我未来儿子的妈妈！
You wait, and someday I'll make you my future son's mother!
16、在职场中就应该像柯南那样，有一种我走到哪就让别人死到哪的霸气。
In the workplace should be like Conan, there is a kind of where I go, let others die where the domineering.
17、你丫头顶高压锅盖，身批破衣麻袋，自称东方不败，其实心里变态。
You top Pssure cooker, new clothes bag, claiming Invincible Eastern, in fact heart metamorphosis.
18、我擦，手机看新闻看多了，看报纸还想双击把图片放大！
I wipe my cell phone, watch the news, see the newspaper, also want to double-click to enlarge the picture!
19、能够说出的委屈，便不算委屈；能够抢走的爱人，便不算爱人。
The grievances that can be uttered are not considered to be wronged; the lovers who can take them are not lovers.
20、执子之手，将子拖走。子说不走，好吧，关门放狗！
Hold the hand of the child and drag the child away. The son said no, okay, close the dog!
21、货有过期日，人有看腻时。你在我心里，能牛逼几时。
Goods have expired days, people are tired of watching. When you're in my heart, how long can you make it.
22、女人喜欢长得坏坏的男人，不是喜欢长坏了的男人。
Women like men who grow bad, not like men who have long been broken.
23、单身并不难，难的是应付那些千方百计想让你结束单身的人。
It's not hard to be single, but it's hard to deal with people who want you to end up single.
24、我以神的姿态，闪耀在这美的瞬间，凡人勿扰。
I in God's attitude, shine in this beautiful moment, man not faze.
25、人生不能像做菜、把所有的料都准备好才下锅。
Life can't be cooked like cooking, getting everything ready.
26、小时候有个梦想，就是长大后能变大帅哥，现在我实现了。
When I was a kid, I had a dream that I could grow up and be handsome, and now I did.
27、有A人活着，他已经死了；有的人活着，他早该死了。
A is alive, he's dead; some people are alive, he's dead.
28、学习成长的机会不在未来，而在每一个活着的当下。
The opportunities for learning and growth are not in the future, but in every living Psent.
29、人生重要的不是所站的位置，而是所朝的方向。
The important thing in life is not the station, but the direction.
30、不是人人都能活的低调，可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。
Not everyone can live low-key, low-key basis is always high profile.
31、别害怕，我一直站在你的身后，总在你呼唤时守在你左右。
Don't be afraid, I'm standing behind you, always standing by you when you call.
32、要努力！为了你的奥迪我的迪奥。
Try hard! For your Audi, my Dior.
33、有些失望是无可避免的，但大部分的失望，都是因为你高估了自己。
Some disappointment is inevitable, but most of the disappointment is because you overestimate yourself.
34、上了年纪最大的好处就是：年轻时得不到的东西，现在你不想要了。
The biggest advantage of being older is what you don't get when you are young, and now you don't want it.
35、女子无才便是德，我一定是太缺德了。
Germany is the only woman, I must be too wicked.
36、没有医保和寿险的，天黑后不要见义勇为。
Without medical insurance and life insurance, don't be courageous after dark.
37、你攒够四块五，我也攒够四块五，我们就可以去民政局结婚了。
You saved four of the five, I also saved four of the five, we can go to the Civil Affairs Bureau of marriage.
38、连眼泪都没处流的人，才是人间最痛苦的人。
Even the tears have no flow of people, is the world's most painful person.
39、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。
As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman.
40、我真的不愿意用脚趾头鄙视你。但是，是你逼我这么做的！
I really don't want to despise you with my toes. But you forced me to do that!
41、探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。
The journey of exploration is not to discover new continents, but to cultivate new perspectives.
42、想编织未来的美梦，现在正是时候，掌握现在，拥有一切，拥有生命。
Want to weave the future dream, now is the time, master now, have everything, have life.
43、今天无意间翻出了我初中的试卷，我擦，原来我以前还会这么多东西啊！
Today, I accidentally dug out my junior high school paper, I wipe, I used to be so many things!
44、当你做对的时候，没有人会记得；当你做错的时候，连呼吸都是错！
When you do the right, no one will remember; when you do something wrong, even breathing is wrong!
45、思念不能自已，痛苦不能自理，结果不能自取，幸福不能自予。
Miss lose self-control, pain can not take care of themselves, the results can not himself, not to the happiness.
46、有些女人穿丝袜，显得身材好。还有一些女人穿丝袜，显得丝袜质量好。
Some women wear silk stockings and look good. Some women wear silk stockings, which show good quality of stockings.
47、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。
I thought I was decadent, and today I realized that I had lost my morning paper.
48、我在楼道捡到了一张一半的一百块，我一直在寻找它的另一半。
I picked up a half of the one hundred block in the corridor, and I was looking for the other half.
49、少年不胡作妄为，大胆放肆，试问老年时哪来的题材话当年。
The young do not Hu, audacity, ask old age in which subjects words.
50、不要再折磨我，我的心已被割破，流尽的不是血，是爱你的错。
Don't torment me, my heart has been cut, not the blood stream, loving you is wrong.
51、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死啊。
I like you so much, you like me, I'll die.
52、我不是天桥上算命的，唠不出那么多你爱听的磕。
I'm not overpass fortune telling, Lao not so much you to hear the knock.
53、手拿菜刀砍电线，一路火花带闪电。
Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, with sparks all the way.
54、蝴蝶计算的，不是月份，而是瞬间，蝴蝶拥有足够的时间。
The butterfly calculates not the month, but the moment, and the butterfly has enough time.
55、请不要把我对你的容忍，当成你不要脸的资本。
Please do not put my tolerance to you, as your shameless capital.
56、年轻的时候，我们常常冲着镜子做鬼脸；年老的时候，镜子算是扯平了。
When young, we often make a face in the mirror; when you are old, the mirror is even.
57、信念这玩意不是说出来的，是做出来的。光荣在于平淡，艰巨在于漫长。
Faith is not something that says, it's made. Glory lies in the plain, the arduous lies in the long.
58、发现有个男的在偷瞄你时，装逼模式启动，后来发现想多了。
Found a man stealing you, loaded mode start, and later found that more thought.
59、人和猪的区别就是：猪一直是猪，而人有时却不是人！
The difference between a man and a pig is that a pig has always been a pig, and sometimes a man is not a human!
60、铁杵能磨成针，但木杵只能磨成牙签，材料不对，再努力也没用。
Iron pestle can be ground into a needle, but the wooden pestle can be ground into a toothpick, not material, then it was no use trying to.
61、树愈静而风不止，我愈恋而他不在。
The more calm the tree is, the more the wind blows, and the more I love him, and he is not there.
62、生活就像宋祖德的嘴，你永远都不知道下一个倒霉的会是谁。
Life is like Song Zude's mouth, you never know who's going to be the next one.
63、我心眼儿有些小，但是不缺；我脾气很好，但不是没有！
My heart is small, but it's not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!
64、原来只要是分开了的人，不论原来多么熟悉，也会慢慢变得疏远。
Originally, as long as the separated people, no matter how familiar with the original, will gradually become estranged.
65、喝药递瓶，上吊给绳，跳楼的挥着小手绢送行。
Take medicine, pass the bottle, hang it to the rope, jump off the small handkerchief and see off.
66、情断了，绑不住，试着放手，走与不走，留与不留，我不想懂。
Love is broken, tied, try to let go, walk and not go, stay and not stay, I don't want to understand.
67、你若先走了，转身时就不要怪我也背对着你。
If you go first, don't blame me and turn back to you when you turn around.
68、我曾经跟一个人无数次擦肩而过，衣服都擦破了，也没擦出火花。
I have numerous times with a pass, scrape all the clothes, did not see the sparks.
69、人又不聪明，还学别人秃顶。
People are not smart, but also learn bald.
70、诸葛亮出山前也没带过兵啊，你们凭啥要我有工作经验。
Zhu Geliang didn't take out before the soldier ah, you work with what I have experienced.
71、我也曾有过一双翅膀，不过我没用它在天上翱翔，而是放在锅里炖汤。
I also had a pair of wings, but I can't use it in the sky, but let it stew in the pot.
72、干柴遇烈火，那叫明骚；湿柴遇小火苗，那才是闷骚。
The firewood to meet fire, called Ming Sao; wet firewood in small flame, that is mensao.
73、每次称体重的时候，轻了就说，瘦了。重了就说，胸部又大了。
Every time you weigh your body, you lose weight, and you lose weight. Heavy, and the chest is big again.
74、爱情是毒药，糖衣太美妙，浅尝了即止就好，喝下了把命都送掉。
Love is poison, sugar is too wonderful, the taste is good, drank his life away.
75、人生没有彩排，每天都是直播；不仅收视率低，而且工资也不高。
There is no dress rehearsal, every day is live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, and wages are not high.
76、铁公鸡还会留点铁锈呢，你根本就是个不锈钢公鸡！
Miser will leave some rust, you're a stainless steel cock!
77、幸福是什么幸福就是你吃鱼，我吃肉，看着别人啃骨头。
Happiness is what happiness is when you eat fish, I eat meat, watching other people gnaw bones.
78、老板用你的时候你就是人才，不用你的时候就变成裁人！
When the boss uses you, you are the talent, when you do not become a cut person!
79、如果你注定不能给予我期待的回应。那么就保持在安全距离之外吧！
If you're not meant to give me what I'm looking forward to. So keep the safe distance away!
80、聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise.
